How to say this isn't just a simple defeat: i lost the balance i kept my whole life and now absolutely everything collapses. in Japanese

1)これはこれは(koreha) (exp) as for this/hey there/see here/i say一介一介(ikkai) (n,adj-no) mere/only a ...の(no) (prt) indicates possessive/nominalizes verbs and adjectives/substitutes for "ga" in subordinate phrases/indicates a confident conclusion/ indicates emotional emphasis/indicates question負け負け(make) (n) defeat/loss/losingだけ(n,suf) just/only/peak/mountainじゃ(n) snake/serpent/large snakeないない(nai) (aux-adj) not/emphatic suffix。(。) Japanese period "."一生no dictionary result, likely a conjigated verbno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verb保ったno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verbno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verb平衡平衡(heikou) (n,vs) even scale/equilibrium/balance/equalization/equalisationを(wo) (prt) indicates direct object of action/indicates subject of causative expression/indicates an area traversed/indicates time over which action takes place/indicates point of departure or separation of action/indicates object of desire, like, hate,失ってno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verbno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verb、(、) Japanese comma何も何も(nanimo) (exp,adv) nothing/not any/and everything else/allかもかも(kamo) (prt) may/might/perhaps/may be/possiblyが(ga) (prt) indicates sentence subject/indicates possessive/but/however/still/and崩れ崩れ(kuzure) (n) crumbling/collapse/ruin始め始め(hajime) (n-t,n-adv) beginning/start/outset/opening/first/origin/such as .../not to mention ...ているている(teiru) (v) an "ing" form of the previous verb。(。) Japanese period "."    
koreha ikkai no make dakejanai 。 isshou tamotta heikou wo utte 、 nanimo kamoga kuzure hajime teiru 。
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Translation by marcelostockle
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