How to say i kid you not. in French

1)je ne te raconte pas de craques.    
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Translation by sacredceltic
2)je ne vous raconte pas de craques.    
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Translation by sacredceltic
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Other sentences with translations
are you threatening me?

i think that's just what i need right now.

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i asked what was wrong.

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i think it'll freeze tonight.

i like cracking sunflower seeds.

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