How to say jim pointed out some grammatical mistakes in my composition. in Japanese

1)ジムジム(jimu) (n) gym/gymnasiumは(ha) (int) indicating a subject/yes/indeed/well/ha!/what?/huh?/sigh私(watashi) (pn,adj-no) i/meの(no) (prt) indicates possessive/nominalizes verbs and adjectives/substitutes for "ga" in subordinate phrases/indicates a confident conclusion/ indicates emotional emphasis/indicates question作文作文(sakubun) (n,vs) writing/composition/formal writing with little real meaningの(no) (prt) indicates possessive/nominalizes verbs and adjectives/substitutes for "ga" in subordinate phrases/indicates a confident conclusion/ indicates emotional emphasis/indicates question文法的文法的(bunpouteki) (adj-na) grammatical誤り誤り(ayamari) (n) error/mistake/slip/bugを(wo) (prt) indicates direct object of action/indicates subject of causative expression/indicates an area traversed/indicates time over which action takes place/indicates point of departure or separation of action/indicates object of desire, like, hate,いくつかいくつか(ikutsuka) (adj-no) few/some/several指摘指摘(shiteki) (n,vs) pointing out/identificationし(shi) (num) 10^24/septillion/quadrillionてくれたno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verbno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verb。(。) Japanese period "."    
jimu ha watashi no sakubun no bunpouteki ayamari woikutsuka shiteki shitekureta 。
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Translation by mookeee
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