How to say i wish myself dead. in Japanese

1)死に死に(shini) (n) dying/death/dead/useless/damnedたいくらいだno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verbno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verb。(。) Japanese period "."    
shini taikuraida 。
Grammer form日常会話 (Casual form)Casual form (nichijoukaiwa)
everyday casual language, commonly used between friends and family.
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long on a and short on b.

because the lecturer speaks quickly few people could follow him.

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