How to say tell me where i am, and what's going on, oh please. in Japanese

1)ここここ(koko) (num) nineは(ha) (int) indicating a subject/yes/indeed/well/ha!/what?/huh?/sigh何処何処(doko) (ok) where/what place/how much/what extentなんだなんだ(nanda) (aux) it is assuredly that .../can say with confidence that .../did not ...、(、) Japanese comma何(nani) (int,pn,adj-no) what/ euph. for genitals or sexが(ga) (prt) indicates sentence subject/indicates possessive/but/however/still/andどうしたんだno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verbno dictionary result, likely a conjigated verb。(。) Japanese period "."    
kokoha doko nanda 、 nani gadoushitanda 。
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Translation by bunbuku
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